Summer's sinkers and swimmers.

It's been a cruel, cruel summer.

Paris Hilton gets thrown in jail – twice – for continually driving on a suspended license or for not reading her own mail – I'm still not quite sure which.

Twig-thin Nicole Richie is impregnated, baffling medical experts and infuriating thousands of women spending thousands of dollars on fertility treatment. And today Nicole got her first baby present: a free four-day stay in jail (meals included) for her last DUI.

Britney Spears' OK! photo shoot is a disaster, and the mag will print the true story (with photos) of her strange behavior. But on the bright side, she was seen buying new underwear. Earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for the second time on a DUI charge, less than two weeks after being released from a monthlong stay in a luxury spa … sorry, rehab.

But believe it or not, there were actually some less-troubled stars going about their normal summer movie promotional activities this week.

For instance:

Former "Shoplift Girl" Winona Ryder popped up at the New York premiere of her new flick, "The Ten."

Ryder's long-ago boyfriend Matt Damon and his pal Ben Affleck put in their time at the "The Bourne Ultimatum" premiere in Los Angeles. In New York, Catherine Zeta-Jones went to desperate lengths to boost her corny new romantic comedy, "No Reservations." Remember her and Tom Hanks in "The Terminal?" Yup, it's that bad.

"Dreamgirls" Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson choose yet another seriously unflattering gown for a New York event honoring Clive Davis. And psst ... we finally find out what SNL alum Janeane Garofalo has been doing with all of her free time.

Coinciding with the release of her independent film "The Interview," Sienna Miller launched her very own clothing line, which is just what the world needs.

Click here to see what stars who aren't in rehab, headed to jail or pregnant out of wedlock are up to.