And suddenly, the lights go dim, the opening montage and song appear on the big screens. Miraculously, the room has seated itself and the show begins.

Random observation No. 3
Party boy-director Brett Ratner must think that if he shows up at every awards show, sooner or later they'll have to give him one. Last week, he was the only non-nominee at the People's Choice Awards. Tonight, he roams the Globes ballroom. Most telling quote overheard, to him from an exec type, "You went gambling in the Bahamas with my brother."

Manic Monday
While there is no denying that the atmosphere inside the Globes is looser and far less constricted than some stuffy old awards shows, inside the ballroom this looseness does not necessarily equate to a relaxed atmosphere. The feeling one gets sitting at a dinner table is more like being at a giant Hollywood cocktail party — while a marching band stomps across the floor as people make speeches from a stage.

On one hand, there is the sheer whiplash of seeing stars out of every corner of your eye, joined together in unlikely combinations — Drew Barrymore talking with Paul Giamatti, Steven Spielberg and Ziyi Zhang. One woman tells me of her thrill of seeing Scarlett Johannson and Mandy Moore simultaneously "adjust themselves" in the ladies room.

On the other hand, it's impossible to overstate what a noisy zoo the hall is. The back third of the ballroom is filled with tables that have almost no view of the stage.

Accordingly, about 90 seconds into the ceremony, the people at those tables get up and begin milling around the room and spilling onto the smoking patio and cocktail lounge (where a buffet is served throughout the show) creating a din that at times overwhelms the stage.

Quiet, somber speeches like Anthony Hopkins' sound very strange amid the din of this huge party going on in the back. By the time Felicity Huffman gives her weepy speech, it sounds as though a riot in the back of the room is about to race forward and attack her.

By the second commercial break, the people in the front of the room are ignoring the announcer's admonitions to race back to their seats. "We're back in 15 seconds. Please take your seats." People stand and roam, wandering to the patio and to the bathrooms freely.

Halfway through the show, stars are typing at their Blackberries and making phone calls, not just at the breaks, but during the presentations.

An hour in, the smoking patio is the center of the action, with stars making extended visits. Russell Crowe and Brian Grazer commandeer the central lounge area and lean together over the railing for most of the night. The cast of "Entourage," keeping the act going, hangs out together — acting very much like an entourage.

Random observation No. 4
Natalie Portman is the smallest person on earth. She is tiny. If she weren't a movie star, she would be considered some sort of endangered species she is so small. But her head is the size of a normal person's and in that combination I realize, lies the key to her stardom.

The (celebrity) wedding table