(Actually, it was Lee Marvin in "The Dirty Dozen." I only majored in drama because I flunked chemistry. "Citizen Kane" was on cable the other night, but I fell asleep before finding out what Rosebud meant.)



I want to thank everyone at the studio, especially Frank, Rhonda, Ray, Bob, Suzy, Paul, Amy, Richard, Joel, Michael — you're the best, Patrick and Carol.

(It took a lot for me to mention the marketing guy because he's such a jerk. I hope naming the studio chief is enough to get me cast in the "Aquaman" franchise. I mentioned the unit publicist because she's cute.)



The writers — Ralph, Sarah, Henry, Joseph and Mary. From the day I got your script in the mail I knew this was the best work I had ever read. I couldn't put it down.

(Unfortunately, I was only a third of the way through when I accidentally dropped it in the Jacuzzi.)



My agent, Robbie, who always has my back.

(Double my quote or you're history.)



My manager, Roger, my publicist, Gretchen, and my lawyer, Andrew.

(Resolution for 2006: Cut down on my overhead.)



My fellow cast members ...