Oscars' best — and worst

They saved the best, or at least the biggest surprise, for last. But that doesn't mean there wasn't plenty to love (or hate or feel completely indifferent about) at the 78th Academy Awards. Without further ado, here are the nominees for the Oscar telecast's most watercooler-worthy moments . . .

Best name-check opening ever: Jon Stewart wasn't the best Oscar host ever (nor, by any measure, the worst), but he may now hold the record for most name-dropping and celeb cameos in his show opening. Among the stars making appearances, getting shout-outs or being name-checked in the TV It Boy's show intro: Billy Crystal, Chris Rock, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg, Steve Martin, Mel Gibson, Mr. Moviefone, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, George Clooney, Charlize Theron, Steven Spielberg, the "Capote" cast and the Democratic party. Nice work, Mr. Stewart. And may that "Death to Smoochy" sequel finally happen. ***
"Tonight is the night we celebrate excellence in film. . .with me, the fourth male lead from 'Death to Smoochy.' Rent it."
— Host Jon Stewart
*** Best non-denial: Ryan Seacrest, in his E! VIP Oscar party pre-show, trying to weasel info from Friend 'o Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, about those persistent rumors of a Kidman/Keith Urban wedding. "I'm not discussing that?I don't know anything," Watts said, before making an awkward segue into a sales pitch for hybrid cars. P.S.: In celebspeak, that non-denial is as good as a confirmation, so congratulations Nicole and Keith.

Most memorable dress color: Not saying supporting actress nominee Michelle Williams' dress was too orangy, but we did have a sudden hankering for Kraft mac and cheese... ***
"I don't like anybody else here. I don't like 'em. I'll tell you right off the bat, you know this Ang Lee guy? I don't like him, and I think he's a communist."
— George Clooney, joking about his fellow nominees, on the red carpet.
*** Most ironic acceptance speech: Tom Hanks' spoof speech, a taped bit in which the two-time Oscar winner tried to demonstrate the woe that would befall any Oscar winners who went past their allotted acceptance speech time. Sadly, the bit was both unfunny and not-so-well acted, meaning the 1:33 wasted on Hanks' fake speech might actually have been better used letting one of tonight's winners speak. Like, say, "Crash" writer Bobby Moresco, who was rudely cut off just as he approached the microphone while accepting the Oscar for best original screenplay.

 
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"I do have some sad news. Bjork couldn't be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her."
— Stewart, recalling Bjork's infamous swan dress. And Cheney's infamous hunting skills.
*** Best restraint by an actor: While it might have been sorta funny, for a minute, to see best actor winner Philip Seymour Hoffman make good on that teenage bet he made with his friends and fellow "Capote" filmmakers to bark his entire acceptance speech, is that really the way we want to remember any best actor winner? You're doggone right we don't.

Best restraint by an actress: Gotta hand it to best supporting actress Rachel Weisz for not going into labor. She's about six months preggers; nabbing an Oscar is a pretty emotional moment, so kudos on receiving the statuette and on not having Junior make the ultimate scene-stealing entry.