Grammy highs — and lows

There were no crazed acceptance speeches, no wardrobe malfunctions and no Soy Bomb-style surprises at this year's Grammy ceremony. But that doesn't mean there weren't plenty of memorable moments (and a few forgettable ones). Here, in the new tradition of the iPod shuffle mode, is a look back at the highs and lows from this year's telecast:

Rowdiest performance: Paul McCartney and his band absolutely ripping through "Helter Skelter," like they were 40 years younger and the opening band at CBGB.

Least rowdy performance: John Legend, playing solo piano on the soul ballad "Ordinary People."

Best wannabe Mariah: Joss Stone, reaching for (and hitting) the high notes while singing "Family Affair."

Worst wannabe Mariah: Christina Aguilera, who needs to learn the meaning of the word "subtle." Her duet with Herbie Hancock on "A Song For You" redefined "turgid" and "bombastic." On second thought, maybe Mariah would be proud.

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"I finally passed the audition, so I want to rock a bit"
— Paul McCartney, before screaming through "Helter Skelter"
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Strangest back-to-back performances: Legend's "Ordinary People" — followed by the, well, sugary country of Sugarland. We know that iTunes is opening up genres, but, c'mon, that's still a bit jarring.

Best Duo, Revisited: U2 and Mary J. Blige singing "One," which they first performed on a televised Katrina benefit earlier this year and recorded for Blige's album. Even though Blige and Bono's voices didn't exactly gel, seeing the two of them onstage together is a major example of the genreless boundaries of contemporary music. Unlike, say, John Legend playing before Sugarland.

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"Please wrap"
— The teleprompter in the back of the room, flashing accidentally as Kelly Clarkson sped through her acceptance speech for pop vocal album.
*** Most confusing opening song — ever: As the telecast opened, 3-D animations of the cartoon hip-hop/rock hybrid band Gorillaz "played" before De La Soul and Madonna emerged, seemingly out of nowhere, to duet with the imaginary group. Anyone who follows the Gorillaz' surreal (and somewhat under the radar) career got it. The rest of America likely issued a collective, "Huh?"