GRAMMY AWARDS
Grammy highs — and lows
Rockers and talkers, sour notes and great quotes — the best and worst from music's big night.
By Jeff Miller, Special to The Envelope
February 8, 2006
There were no crazed acceptance speeches, no wardrobe malfunctions and no Soy Bomb-style surprises at this year's Grammy ceremony. But that doesn't mean there weren't plenty of memorable moments (and a few forgettable ones). Here, in the new tradition of the iPod shuffle mode, is a look back at the highs and lows from this year's telecast:
Rowdiest performance: Paul McCartney and his band absolutely ripping through "Helter Skelter," like they were 40 years younger and the opening band at CBGB.
Least rowdy performance: John Legend, playing solo piano on the soul ballad "Ordinary People."
Best wannabe Mariah: Joss Stone, reaching for (and hitting) the high notes while singing "Family Affair."
Worst wannabe Mariah: Christina Aguilera, who needs to learn the meaning of the word "subtle." Her duet with Herbie Hancock on "A Song For You" redefined "turgid" and "bombastic." On second thought, maybe Mariah would be proud.
"I finally passed the audition, so I want to rock a bit"
— Paul McCartney, before screaming through "Helter Skelter"
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Strangest back-to-back performances: Legend's "Ordinary People" — followed by the, well, sugary country of Sugarland. We know that iTunes is opening up genres, but, c'mon, that's still a bit jarring.
Best Duo, Revisited: U2 and Mary J. Blige singing "One," which they first performed on a televised Katrina benefit earlier this year and recorded for Blige's album. Even though Blige and Bono's voices didn't exactly gel, seeing the two of them onstage together is a major example of the genreless boundaries of contemporary music. Unlike, say, John Legend playing before Sugarland.
"Please wrap"
— The teleprompter in the back of the room, flashing accidentally as Kelly Clarkson sped through her acceptance speech for pop vocal album.
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Most Glaring Omission: Presenters of the best new artist award mentioned former winners Bobby Darin; The Beatles; Tom Jones; Crosby, Stills & Nash; Natalie Cole; Sheryl Crow and Lauren Hill. Somehow, they managed to forget that the award has also gone to, er, artists like Milli Vanilli and Christopher Cross. Which puts this year's winner, John Legend, in either esteemed company or in the bargain bin, depending on whose side you're on.
"I am the Mexican yakuza"
— Apl.de.ap from Black Eyed Peas, making no sense while talking over the nominations for male R&B/vocal performance.
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Trend that needs to end: Gospel choirs. Mariah, you're not in church, no matter how many times you reach up to heaven.
Trend that should not end: Marching bands. Kanye West and Jamie Foxx playing "Gold Digger" make the best bandleaders since Gwen Stefani led the drum corps through the "Hollaback Girl" video. Who knew being in marching band could be so cool?
"I'm sorry I'm crying again on national television" — Kelly Clarkson, accepting the award for female pop vocal performance.
Best one-note performance: It's tempting to give it to Kelly Clarkson's sappy ballad "Because of You," but we'll give it to Alicia Keys. She played one note — literally — on Stevie Wonder's harmonica before the twosome presented the female pop vocal award.
Best Brit-fro: Coldplay's Chris Martin, who has obviously let a year of touring prevent him from cutting his hair and beard, making him look like a well-clothed hippie. Or a refugee from the Spin Doctors. C'mon, Chris, just because you're married doesn't mean the ladies don't want to take you home to mom anymore.
Biggest "Whoa" fashion moment: Sly of Sly and the Family Stone, returning from hermitville after 19 years, sporting a foot-high blond Mohawk and glittery silver suit. That's one way to make a comeback — maybe actually playing for more than a couple of minutes next time would be another one.
"Our next performer needs no introduction?"
— Ellen DeGeneres, who proceeded to say?nothing, instead letting Paul McCartney introduce himself with "Fine Line"
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Best/worst Fred Durst imitation: Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, wearing a white baseball cap backwards, circa 1998, and a huge smirk during his introduction of Kelly Clarkson's performance. These are the champions?
Most unlikely collaboration: Paul McCartney, Jay-Z, and Linkin Park's Chester Bennington? If you'd have asked us when Macca would sing "Yesterday" with Jigga, we would have said "never." We would have been wrong. We should have been right.
"Kanye, you're next."
— Bono, accepting the album of the year award.